Two words: Rink Moms (or dads)! We all know them, and we all roll our eyes at them. They are the parents that want the best for the child but get a little too involved or they are the ones that are trying to live their dreams through their child. Sometimes all the child needs is a little love and encouragement from their parents. They already have a coach for their sport and they don’t need one at home too. I came across this wonderful article from the website competitvedge.com.
If you really want your child to love their sport, feel good about themselves and have a good chance to go as far as possible, then one of your most important jobs besides loving them unconditionally is to NOT coach. And the one place where the most “coaching” happens is on the car ride home right after a competition.
It’s on the car ride home that kids are a captive audience,
It’s on the car ride home that everyone’s emotions are running high,
And it’s on the car ride home that parents can’t seem to contain themselves. They feel compelled to speak up, to be “helpful,” to seize this “teaching moment,” whether their child asks for it or not.
It’s on the car ride home that kids end up feeling really badly about themselves,
If they had a bad performance, not only are they already sad, frustrated and disappointed in themselves, they feel like they’ve let you down, which for most kids is s killer!
When mom and dad express their own disappointment in the child’s failure, when they point out everything that the child did wrong, why they did it wrong and what they need to work on to improve, then your son or daughter will feel that MUCH WORSE.
On the car ride home is the time when your child needs to completely unplug, to leave the game behind them, to forget their mistakes and miscues and to work through their own sadness, frustration and disappointment. The VERY LAST THING that most kids want to do on the ride home is rehash the game with you.
What most kids need on the car ride home is to feel the safety of your love, a love that has NOTHING to do with their performance.
What they might also need is your help in getting distracted from the game. They need to know that you are still there emotionally for them and they can exquisitely tell this by how you act, and not just by what you say. They need to know, by your behaviors, that this was JUST A GAME, that there will be plenty of others and it is, in the long run, totally unimportant.
However, this does not mean that you actually say this to your child. Instead they need to feel that you have it in perspective. They need to feel your empathy and loving support. And sometimes all this amounts to is a smile and something really profound that you say to them like, “So how about pizza for supper?”
For the original article click here: https://www.competitivedge.com/car-ride-homedear-mom-and-dad-0